The Word That Gives Me the Ick: Bridezilla

Dorina
May 1
2 min read

Updated: May 7

Why it's time to stop using it — and what we should say instead

There’s one word that always makes me wince: Bridezilla.

Yes, that word — the one often tossed around to describe a bride (or sometimes a groom) who’s stressed, overwhelmed or hyper-focused on their wedding. It's become shorthand for someone who’s “difficult” or “too much” during the planning process.

But here's the thing: it’s dismissive, gendered and unfair.

Weddings are deeply emotional. They’re often months — or even years — in the making. Unless you’ve planned one yourself, it’s hard to grasp just how many decisions there are, how much pressure people can feel from family expectations, budget constraints, time limitations and their own desire to create an incredible experience for everyone they love.

Recently, one of my lovely brides-to-be apologised for “bombarding me with questions.” And honestly, it stopped me in my tracks. Why should someone feel sorry for being curious, excited or even a little overwhelmed about a huge life event? That moment made me realise it was time I finally wrote about something that’s been bothering me for a long time.

Spring wedding bouquet with colourful flowers at Dewsall Court, Herefordshire (Photo: Lewis Fackrell Photography)

Let’s ditch the label

I really dislike labelling people — especially when that label holds a negative meaning. Words like “bridezilla” don’t help anyone. They don’t open space for empathy or understanding. Instead, they shame people for caring deeply. For wanting something beautiful. For trying their best.

The truth is, planning a wedding (without a planner) is basically a full-time job. There’s admin, research, spreadsheets, budgeting, supplier emails and often some tough conversations with loved ones about what matters most. No wonder people feel stretched.

And while, yes, emotions might run high sometimes, those emotions don’t make someone a “zilla” — they make them human!

White and mocha wedding flowers at Llantilio House, Monmouthshire (Photo: Time & Oath Photography)

There's no “zilla” - just someone who just wants it to be right

Couples don’t just plan weddings for themselves. They’re planning for their parents, their siblings, their friends — the people they’ve journeyed through life with. It’s one of the only times all their worlds come together in one space. Of course, they want it to be unforgettable!

So when you see someone getting flustered or needing a bit of extra support, try not to judge. Instead of using labels, try offering a little patience, a listening ear, or even a reassuring hug.

A gentle reminder — for everyone

This isn’t just for couples planning weddings. It’s a reminder for anyone, anytime. Be kind. Lead with empathy. Ditch the judgement. You never know what someone’s carrying.

As we begin Mental Health Awareness Month, it feels especially important to say this out loud. There’s enough pressure out there already — we don’t need to add to it by dismissing or mocking people when they’re trying their best.

So let’s be gentler with our words. Let’s choose curiosity over criticism. And let’s never, ever use that word again.